“They should be reserved for particular offenses that could cause injury to your child or someone else,” says Parents advisor Ari Brown, M.D., a pediatrician and author of Toddler 411. Siegel, “Your child actually needs you the most when she’s at her worst.” Most experts believe time-outs can be effective, as long as they are used correctly and in the right situations, especially for kids who are over age 3. Rather than immediately sending her to a chair in the corner, it’s important to let her know that you empathize with how she’s feeling. Siegel, M.D., professor of psychiatry at UCLA School of Medicine and author of No-Drama Discipline.
“When your child has a tantrum or a meltdown, she may be overwhelmed and unable to control her emotions,” says Daniel J. After all, decades of research have shown that children who have been routinely spanked are more likely to be aggressive when they get older, as well as to suffer from anxiety, depression, and substance abuse.īut a time-out isn’t benign either. Now-at a time when a video of a kid being paddled at school goes viral because it’s so shocking-most parents are embracing a more gentle approach. Before Arthur Staats, Ph.D., now retired from the University of Hawaii at Manoa, came up with the concept, teachers and principals routinely smacked children with rulers, and parents spanked or whipped their kids with switches. Time-outs became popularized by reality shows like Supernanny, but the technique was first developed in the 1960s as a more humane alternative to harsh punishments that were common then. However, according to a recent study from Oregon Health and Science University in Portland, 85 percent of parents who use the strategy make mistakes that can reduce its success, such as giving too many warnings or talking to their kids or letting them play with toys during time-outs. If you’re ready to become a time-out dropout, consider when they will be most effective and how you can adopt other tactics to quell your kid’s antics. Parents often admit that it simply doesn’t work-because their kid fights going to the time-out, cries and calls out instead of sitting quietly, or gets even more worked up afterward. Time-out certainly sounds like a brilliant fix: A child spends a few minutes sitting alone, and emerges calm and cooperative. Could this classic discipline technique actually make the situation worse? Learn what experts recommend, including a new and improved five-step technique for giving time-outs.
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